How to (somewhat) Succeed in Being an Exchange Student (with a lot of trying, confusion, and temporary sadness)

Ciao, ragazzi.

This blog post is gonna be a long one, and pretty brutal. I really want to make it known what exchange really feels like when you get down to it. I know for a fact that a ton of exchange students hit a wall as soon as they stepped off of the plane in their host country, and I want to make it known that most of the time, exchange isn't "what dreams are made of"...more like a "can we all stop screaming now i need to study this schoolwork i don't understand and later go try and figure out something i don't understand either".

Let's get down to business.
(TO DEFEAT. THE HUNS.)

but really.

Coming up to exchange, we are prepped out of our minds with everything that could possibly happen during 10 months of being abroad. What to pack, what to wear, what to say, what to do, what to think, what to oppose to, how to react, how to handle, how to deal, how to feel. When we are sitting at home in our pajamas and aimlessly scrolling through our newsfeeds and watching terrible reality television, we are annoyed that we have all of these pamphlets to read and paperwork to fill out and redundant information that was shoved our way since the day we clicked "submit" on our application. We think that everything is so self-explainitory and unnecessary to hear over and over again, and in reality most of it is not that way.

Here's where that wall comes into play. From the first time we lay eyes on our host family, we are thrown into a portal of the life we were "prepared" for but definitely were not. The scenarios in our head of how we thought it would be aren't anything like what reality really is, no matter if the difference is positive or negative. Instantaneously you learn about them: their levels in the languages they speak, the way they talk, the way they laugh, what makes them happy, what makes them mad, how they treat each other, how they show affection, what their sense of humor is like, what their expectations are, what they like, what they don't like, literally, we are tossed into learning everything at once.

Not knowing anything, let alone everything, is one of the most terrifying things to experience. It's basically a constant struggle of not knowing whether to laugh, nod, respond, be shocked, try to make a joke, or do nothing whatsoever. So we just sit there and try not to be a nuisance because we're terrified of making a bad first impression on who we think will be our family for the next 290 some days.

After the atrocity of confusion that becomes complete reality (aka the first night), you are thrown into the cycle. THE CIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIFE. The circle of life your host family lives every day but you have never lived once. It's a fantastic feeling (I say sarcastically) to have your head pop off the pillow and just think to yourself, "oh no. oh nonono. did I sleep too late? What do I wear? should I even get dressed or just go out in my pajamas? do I wear shoes? do I comb my hair? should I put makeup on today? is anyone else awake? should I get breakfast by myself? what if they've already eaten? what if they're still asleep? ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod". So you get up and thankfully they're still up, and you sit down just for the next wave of reality to roll in.

You've never eaten breakfast in an Italian home. What do you do? How much do you eat? What do you eat? Where are the mugs? bowls? spoons? plates? where's the food? Are you allowed to drink coffee? Do you drink the milk after your cereal? Should you wash my silverware after you're done or just leave it in the sink/table?

Literally, and I do mean literally this time, you know NOTHING.

For me, knowing nothing is petrifying. I'm that kid in your class that knows what will happen before it even does, has dates marked on her calendar for next school year, knows how to work every appliance known to any citizen of the USA, can probably tell you more about your schedule than you can yourself, but can't figure out how to open a damn cereal box in Italy.

Until you're settled, you're turned into a babbling idiot. You can't do anything by yourself. Most of the time, you can't even speak for yourself without a translator or having to force the person to repeat themselves 174 times. You're asking 7 and 8 year olds how to work a shower, how to cross the street, how to work a television remote, where to sit at dinner, etc., when they are expecting you to be a lot smarter than you can be when you are here.

Bringing me to my next point. If you have to switch families for any of an assortment of reasons while abroad, you don't get a chance to be able to settle in one place. You go from Gateway City to Host Country to Host Family to Temporary Family to New Host Family, and you can do all of that in under three weeks. But, let's throw in school and actually having to be social and recall everything that you learned 4+ months ago so the teachers can understand where you are in your education and aren't actually an idiot (and you just weren't taught what they were learning). So we have (simultaneously) school, social life, Italian life, American life, exchange life, all to throw in at one time with no rest from any of them.

You must understand that no matter how fluent someone is in a language, doesn't mean they can understand you. Comprehension is different than understanding. You don't know struggle until you build up the courage to tell someone you care for something extremely difficult, and have them comprehend you, but not understand you. Google translate is trash for both of these things. That difference is basically the difference between life and death; either making everything so much better, or making everything so much worse. What's a good victory story without getting worse, though?

Point being through this whirlpool of information that there is no rest for an exchange student. There is always something being done, being put off, needing done, etc. From talking to other exchange students and reading blogs, it seems like we all have had that day around noon-ish where we just lose it sitting on a bidet in a select location and crying about our life and where we are at the exact moment. I haven't got a name for this. Bidet syndrome? Bidet depression? PTSB (post-traumatic stress bidet)? But anyways, we honestly had no idea what we were going into when we clicked "submit" on that application and we didn't have a way of knowing. We are voluntarily lost.

Don't let this scare you. I am legitimately happy. I'm happy because through the past 22 days I was pushed to my limits and I came out on the other side, stronger than I have ever been, and ready to face more. It's only been 22 days and I have 270 some more, and I feel ready and good about them. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. My weakness is my language, my strength is my determination. Strength is also strength, and if you can convince yourself you have enough of it, you're invincible.

All throughout the past three weeks, I would ask myself at my hardest times if I wanted to go back home to America. The answer was always, "no". No matter how much you miss something, sometimes determination and strength can overrule that completely. It's awesome how the human mind works. It's amazing how your inner strengths and wants just demand to be noticed in everyday life. Life is just astonishing in itself.

This blog post was deep.

Sometimes, you're just able to sit around and life comes to you in your thoughts, and you learn to appreciate it so much. And that's why I love being an exchange student.

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAAAAAAAR

Buongiorno ragazzi!

It's a little past 8 on Sunday night on the first day of Autumn, though it's still hot as ever here. It's also the end of my third day with my temporary host family, the Basile's, and who I've grown to love dearly. They actually have a son who's my age studying for a semester in Belgium, and I get his room (with a ceiling fan!!!!!). I move to my "permanent" host family tomorrow, but if things don't work out, I'm staying with the Basile's. It's really a win-win situation.

Yesterday and today were basically packed with stuff. First of all, I have a newfound hatred for the store Euronics. It's like a Best Buy, but I've spent many hours in that store here in Catania and it's about as fun as the DMV was a couple months ago. I also had the joy of being there the day Grand Theft Auto 5 came out, so it was reeeeeal fun dodging teenage boys staring at a screen watching people rob banks and bikini'ed women steal cars.

But, exchange student life went from pretty terrible to instant "what dreams are made of"-esque as soon as I switched host families. I stayed with a temporary host family, the Basile's, with their two kids (they have three, but the oldest is abroad in Belgium for a semester with AFS! awesome!) and their dog. They were so sweet, immensely caring and really interested in English and the American way of life. I was with them for about 4 days and 4 nights, and they actually took me up Etna! It was really foggy that day, so most of the pictures are just of the ground I was walking on, but it was amazing! Plus it was very cold. The first time in a loooong time my fingers went numb! If they're really necessary, I'll post pictures (even though I haven't posted a single picture on here yet). But I was on a volcano!

In the meantime, now I am living in basically the center of Catania, near Piazza Duomo and the shore. I am on the same street as my school, so that means I get to sleep in until 7 every day when school starts around 8:10. But that's not the best part. My room is on the top floor (it's a two story apartment) and out my window, there is a FREAKING LEGITIMATE GREEK-ROMAN THEATRE. Here's a picture I took from my bedroom window, and yeah, I'm being completely serious.

I have to close my windows while changing in case of the rogue, wild tourists come! But there are a lot of cats that sit in the sun all day here. I don't mind them.

School is going better, but it's still boring for me because I barely understand Italian. I understand physics, surprisingly. Also a little of my art history class when she speaks slowly about civilizations and famous places, not necessarily the architecture of a Greek temple I have never heard of... English class is hard for the American! (even though I am an Anglophile, I still struggle with the British dialect!) But really, is there a difference between "may" and "might"?

Until then, ragazzi!

so this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down

....and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you WHAT THE CRAP MY LIFE HAS BEEN LIKE FOR THE PAST 15 DAYS.

Let's kick this out as fast as we can.

I left home September 4th as soon as my brother left for school to head up to NYC with my mom, aunt, and my life packed into under 66 pounds. I spent the night there and took off the next day from JFK.

The flight was brutal, mostly just the part not in the plane, spent carrying my luggage and sweating with 44-150 other kids just as miserable and annoying as you think they would be. Switzerland was pretty horrible. No wifi, no francs, expensive water, I slept on the freaking ground, angry cleaning ladies yelling in German because there were like 90 kids taking up the path to the bathroom...but it was nice and cold on that floor.

The Rome airport I had been warned previously about, that it wasn't in too great of shape. It did smell like a cajun portapotty which wasn't too pleasant but still, I actaully made it to Italy without commiting homicide or dying.

The Rome orientation was basically the explosion of all my happiness because it was too much awesomeness to handle. 501 foreign kids all pumped up on adrenaline to learn. I roomed with a girl from California who I loved so dearly (Marisa) and we got to know each other pretty well. Let's toss it in a nutshell (orientation)

• I stargazed/talked about life with a girl from Poland, girl from Austria, and a girl from France on the roof of our hotel in Rome. 
• finally was united with Iris (HK), Thorunn (Iceland), and all of my other friends from the interwebs.
• I sang the italian national anthem in front of like, 100 kids.
• I made a friend in a unisex bathroom
• I used a bidet (stop it)

After 2 days of orientation we all went to our chapters. I had to fly (perks of being temporary Sicilian) so me and probably 40ish international kids went to Fiumicino again to fly to Catania. I love those kids more than life itself. I met my host family at the airport, and to make this super super super short, I have since ended up switching host families.

Yes, Kara has switched host families. My family was very sweet, it wasn't that they were terrible to me. It's just that when you take a 15 year old girl and put her in a completely different environment and tell her to survive, she's gotta feel at home. and if she doesn't feel at home, she's going to be sad. It was a completely personal decision and the 2 days it took were definitely the hardest of my life. To disappoint people and then have them not understand completely why is the hardest thing you could ever do. I did learn that there are two kinds of people in this world. Both are nice and loving to the other kind, but they will never "click" on a level family or loved ones will. I'm still set on figuring out exactly what these types are. My new project.

In about 13 days in Catania, I have

• made real friends
• eaten gelato for 3 meals
• eaten pasta atleast once a day if not more
• ran into the unisex bathroom friend on my way to school (it's a boy from Argentina) and nearly jumptackled him because I was so excited to see another AFSer
• went to school in a building older than the USA itself
• watched Disney Channel in Italian
• used an Italian vending machine

In the process of moving families right now, and I'm super tired. I will have to go now, as it's almost 11 here. Goodnight, my beautiful blog readers.

kara not blogging for 2 weeks is NOT what dreams are made of

Hey friends, a quick drop by to let you know what's up.

I am in Italy, all is going well. I lost my camera cable (my best guess is I left it in my hotel room in NYC), so pictures aren't gonna be up for a long time. Sorry.

Internet is muy dificil to find here, as this is the first time I am able to use my laptop at home. I have been going cold turkey from everything else. I deserve an award for that.

It's been crazy and I have plenty to tell, but to hold you all over until I have 3 days for the almighty motherload of blog entries about my pasta-infused life, here's some things that you should probably know.

1. people really do say "mamma mia".
2. if you are any ethnicity other than Sicilian, you will fry in the sun in about 2.71 seconds.
3. everything tastes so much better here.
4. everything is eaten/drank in moderation, even water. (which annoys me profusely.) 
5. not many places are familiar with air conditioning.
6. walking everywhere is awesome, unless it's pouring. then you'd rather die. 
7. there is a fine line between italian conversing and italian fighting. you will know it when you see it.
8. the Italy Beverly (seen in Walt Disney World's Epcot and Coca Cola Factory in Atlanta) DOESN'T EVEN EXIST HERE.
9. sparkling water doesn't suck as much after you force it down for a couple of meals.
10. America needs Aranchini.
11. I miss my Turkey Hill Iced Tea more than life itself.
12. it is possible to miss people you only knew for a day (ORIENTATION OH MY GOD)
13. the kids in my chapter rock the socks off of kids everywhere else.
14. withdraw from youtube and the rest of the internet is sometimes more painful than you can ever understand.

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME IM ONLINE!

First night: I'm in Queens.

Buona sera from the Hilton of Queens, just in spitting distance of JFK International Airport. As I sit here typing this, I am watching airplanes come and go, just waiting until tomorrow evening when I will be on one. It still hasn't sank in that this is actually happening, and it's happening tomorrow.

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and drove up to JFK, which took an hour and a half longer than it was supposed to, due to stupid miniature accidents before we had even got to Philadelphia. We only stopped once for a bathroom stop, and got to the NYC area around 11:30. Just for kicks, we stopped at Coney Island to get lunch. I've never been to Coney Island, and I was way too nervous to eat anything fried, greasy, or fatty without chancing vomit. So we stopped at the oh-so famous Nathan's Hot Dog Stand, and got a little lunch before going to the hotel.

The hotel is really difficult to find, take it that it's right out of a lower suburb of Queens and the roads are ridiculously confusing to maneuver and it took us 45 minutes to get through it. Long story short, we said our goodbyes, I loaded up and pack-muled it to the dining room, where there were a maximum of 20 kids sitting and talking. Being a socially awkward butterfly, I sat my butt down and just kinda listened while other people talked, who weren't going to Italy (most were going to France). As I sat, kids going to Italy kept funneling in and it got more and more exciting. One thing I learned today is that no one even comes close to looking like what their facebook profile picture portrays. Anyways, our table became filled with so many kids going to Italy it became more of a small party of hyped-on-only-adrenaline (and obnoxious if you're me) kids talking about where they're from and finally uniting. It was amazing to look around at my table at all of the kids going to Italy, where we didn't have enough seats, let alone room, to fit even a quarter of them; but to look at where they all have come from. Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Colorado, Washington, Florida, Texas, Ohio, Alaska..... and we were all joined for our passion to learn and achieve; to get out! It's like a big family already. I honestly can't wait for the rest of the adventures to come over the next 4 days with these kids, let alone all of the international kids I get to meet in the near future. Ciao!

Kara. wat r u doin. kara. stahp.

Buongiorno for the last time from America. The time has come, guys. Tomorrow, I go up to NYC and take off at 6:05 PM on Thursday for EUROPE. I have my suitcase packed, my personal item except for my laptop of course, and all of the stuff I will need tomorrow morning to get ready. It's hard to believe that something I've waited for over a hundred days for is literally happening TOMORROW. What the actual, man.

Since I hit the emotional breakdown/paranoia/backing down stage about 2 months ago, I really feel only excitement right now. I'm hoping that it's a good thing and not a bad thing that I hit that resentful stage so early, back in July. I just really really hate goodbyes. In fact, they're probably the thing I hate the most on this planet. Some are really easy, however.

On Friday, Friday, we will be getting down on Friday. But not necessarily looking forward to the weekend, weekend. Friday is THE DAY. The day I am the most excited for. I'm pretty sure this is the same feeling I will have 3 days before my own wedding. But Friday, is the day, that I finally get to meet all 470 some of the other exchange students. No wonder Rebecca Black made a song about how glorious Fridays actually are. Shoutout to Iris, Þórunn, the Graton sisters, Mook and the other 6 kids in my chapter whom I haven't met yet, and all the rest of you. Because, no matter whether you're culturally used to hugging, you will be getting one. Fun fun fun fun.

Anyways, tonight will be my last night at my house, sleeping in my bed, with my dogs and mom and brother (and aunt who will most likely be sleeping fir 5 hours on our couch). Holy crap time, where'd ya go?